the only thing I want

In this relationship I have to be flexible,
I need to always be ready to bend if necessary,
and to make myself small and quiet 
whenever I am asked. 

One of the prices I pay for this relationship 
is silence, my silence, my starvation for
affection and validation, and any 
conceivable hope for the future. 

Those I must pay for
one way or another. 
One day, or not.

In this relationship I have to be ready for 
cliff diving, train jumping, backflips, I
need to be prepared for the quick exits,
I always need to be ready to run. 

I tell myself the only thing I want is 
to park my car and know when 
I walk through the door, you’ll be there;
to know that whenever I crawl into
bed at night, you’ll be waiting.

All I want is to never be afraid
again, that one day I’ll come home,
to our home, and you will be gone.

Today’s three poem prompt words were: flexible, cliff diving, and only.

_{Photo by Brigitte Elsner on Unsplash}