Forty-three years and I still feel like I am a child that is working hard on figuring things out on my own because no one cares enough to care for me.
I forgot to pay my taxes, I don’t know how to submit an insurance claim, I don’t know how to refinance my car, and feel like all I have to turn to is my new best friend Claude.
Is it ever really too late?
I mean, to become the person I want to be?
The sun is starting to set on this life, but I am not done yet.… Read the rest
The day winds down and you know you’re leaving work only to go home to try to answer the daily question of what the fuck is for dinner?
You’re glad to leave work, but going home has its own stressors.
There’s the child who chews with her mouth open, loudly. There’s the boyfriend whose loyalty you question. There’s the job you love but you’re terrified of losing.
But you open the door and there are flowers on the table; vibrant, bright, ferociously alive.
Their scent is a welcome assault; you breathe and smile.
You never know what’ll be a daymaker.… Read the rest
I didn’t want to fight. I wasn’t made for battle, I was made to sit on a throne and be quiet and pretty.
When my brother ran in, he was already mortally wounded and died in my arms.
His blood was the anger I needed to pick up his sword and fight back.
A rebel entered. Had I been empty handed, he may have left, but I was armed, and he engaged me.
His sword came down, and I saw the faces of my people in his blade.
I hacked and stabbed and finally killed him.
But all for nothing.… Read the rest
“Tell me, was I just another pawn in your elaborate game of chess?”
“You were, but unlike the other pawns you managed to become my queen.”
“I am not your queen! I have no crown; she got your crown!”
“But you get me. You get my nights my mornings, my kisses, my hugs and love. You get all of that, she gets none of it.”
“Games! It’s just games you play and nonsense you speak!”
“No, my love, no, you are the queen of my heart.”
“But not by name, so I will never sit by you on your throne.”… Read the rest
When the chimp attacked I left my body. I wasn’t there when he pounded at my face with his fists, when he jumped up and down on my stomach and groin, crushing me.
I barely remember being taken away with lights flashing, sirens blaring, but I remember waking up in agony, feeling like someone had ripped my body apart and sloppily put it back together.
“I’m sorry, the injuries to your face were too severe, we couldn’t save it,” the doctor said.
I know I’m a monster, but I’m trying to approach life with grace, while wearing someone else’s face.… Read the rest
This hasn’t been the best year.
It’s had its ups and downs like all the other years, but this one passed quickly and in a blur of anxiety and discontent.
I’m one of those people who thinks “If things are too good to be true, they probably are,” but unfortunately I am not one to heed that warning and prepare myself for the worst.
Not long ago, Bobby told me for the second time that he will never remarry, his family will always come first, and I can do better.
Now, I agree with him.
We are living in … Read the rest
“It’s never going to work,” I say, her upturned palm in my hand. “No matter how much he loves you, even if he marries you, he’s always going to love her more.”
“Then why is he doing this to me?”
“Because he thinks he won’t find better or ever be happy again. This is his best worst option.”
She cries, and the psychic shifts.
“Just leave him. He doesn’t really want to be with you, and deep down you know it.”
The other woman thanks me, sobbing, and runs out.
I step over the psychic I knocked out, leaving smiling.… Read the rest
They say that I’m beautiful but I will never believe them.
My blond hair is too soft and shiny, my pale white skin so unblemished.
I’m petite, a size double zero, and I can do my makeup better than the stylists doing the Met Gala’s red carpet looks.
I move like water through any room and part it like the Red Sea, no one can touch me.
I’m flawless; I know this.
But no one will come near me, or look in my dagger eyes, or raise their voice to speak to me.
I am just a cold, lonely island.… Read the rest
We walk up the old wood path that is obscured by mist, which makes everything colored in a haze of green reflected from the lush trees.
“We should turn back,” Micah said.
“No, we’re too close, it’s right here.”
And it was. They’d reached the tree they searched for, and knocked three times on its bark.
A hidden door swung in and bright light emanated from within. Cheney proceeded directly inside while Micah tried and failed to stop her.
He was glad he did.
They’d found the ancient, secret library of the mystics, and now everything in it was theirs.… Read the rest
