am I in this for the long haul?

I have been feeling awful lately.

Since I had COVID-19 for the third time in December of 2022, my body has not been the same.

I have a running list of symptoms that I’ve been dealing with since then:

  • Fatigue
  • Brain Fog
  • Joint Pain (worse than usual)
  • Hot flashes
  • Heat intolerance
  • Constant dry mouth
  • Sleep Apnea
  • Hyperparathyroidism
  • Iron Deficiency Anemia
  • B-12 deficiency
  • Neuropathy
  • Depression (worse than usual)
  • Anxiety (worse than usual)
  • Forgetfulness/memory issues
  • High blood pressure
  • Tachycardia
  • swelling in the feet and ankles
  • and did I mention the oppressive, crushing, painful, and relentless fatigue?

I just had a nuclear stress … Read the rest

The best thing I’ve ever found

WordPress asks today:

The most important invention in your lifetime is…

and a shrill voice in my mind screams:

“Modern indoor plumbing!”

but then I considered, well, that wasn’t invented in my lifetime.

I am lucky enough to have been able to enjoy cleaning my butt with toilet paper and flushing it away my whole life, so that doesn’t count.

Well, the next answer was obvious to me:

The Internet.

I have a horrible memory.

I don’t remember core moments of my life like a normal person does.

I don’t remember the first time I ever got my period, I … Read the rest

any day with you, babe

When I was younger, there is no doubt that my most ideal day, beginning to end, would be one spent in New York City.

I might even want to spend that day there alone, because I did that once, I went for three days and two nights alone, and it was the best trip to the city I can remember.

I took the train, a little over two hours from New Haven to Grand Central, and I sat writing in my journal and listening to music.

But the people around me didn’t know that part of that time I wasn’t … Read the rest

every day will eventually end

When I met Bobby I had been single for a long time.

I hadn’t gone on a date in about four years, and I had lost all confidence in myself, both emotionally and physically.

Every once in a while, usually when we’re fighting, he brings up the fact that when we met, I was doing intense EMDR therapy to, as he says, “get over” my ex.

It’s not getting over my exes that is the problem – they’re all gone for a reason.

Getting over the way things had ended was the issue.

I was stunned by it; it was … Read the rest

I’m Not Ready to Give Up

If you’d like, you can also read this for free on Medium.

I don’t know what to do with myself right now.

Just over a year ago, I started work at a wonderful place with wonderful people, and over 90% of the time I can confidently say that I love my job, and being there makes me happy.

That is a true statement.

For the entirety of my life since I grasped the understanding as a child that one day I would have to work at a job to have money to live, I knew that the only job … Read the rest

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