Boundaries.

What are boundaries? I used to ask myself all the time, and then laugh hysterically because I knew I had none, and a lack of boundaries is what was making my life so hard.

My boyfriend and I, well, no. Let me rephrase that.

My ex-boyfriend decided he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me.

He said “this is as far as it will go” and that’s not good enough for me.

We are going to have to live through the hell of sharing a space … Read the rest

Be here now.

That’s a thing, right?

I feel like I spend half my time in the past and half in the future, and honestly don’t enjoy the present moments as much as I should.

But I worry about the future constantly. I worry about not being able to afford things, specifically, and specifically my rent.

Being that I work at a place that has a food pantry, I see and hear about a lot of homeless people, and I am starting to consider being homeless one … Read the rest

When we had our family Christmas, Bobby told me that he had something special coming for me, but it hadn’t arrived yet. I’d have to wait a little while.

I’m not a big gift lover, I mean, I love gifts, but I’m not going to get annoyed if one doesn’t come for me.

But then the mail came yesterday and he brought me a big, slim package.

It’s a copy of a 1961 edition of LOOK Magazine in which my grandfather was profiled and interviewed about his time as a submariner … Read the rest

Finishing what I start.

That was one of the easiest questions I’ve had to answer in quite a while.

Surely, no one has noticed, but this morning I posted a poem on my website for the 68th day in a row. I have been following prompts by my favorite living poet, Maya Stein, and with only 22 days left in this 90 day project, I am very confident that I will finish it.

I haven’t missed a day and cheated even once, and for that I am proud, but I want to do more.… Read the rest

We said it so many times we called it 10%, because it felt like “I love you” was 10% of all we say to each other. Every day, I love you, I love you, I love you, a balm I’ll never grow tired of but, underneath it all, became a noose around your neck. We’ll stick to easy games; no tag, no red rover, no hopscotch, nothing that involves touching or thinking about you. Finger painting, maybe, that’s an activity we can do together now that cuddling and sex are off the table. My best friend has a sex painting. … Read the rest