our parents were lucky

Getting older, and watching my parents and grandparents age, is incredibly hard.

I’ve always been very aware of my age and the passing of time.

These days it feels like time is flying by so much faster than I want it to; I want it to slow down. I want to be able to appreciate and savor more of the good things before having to move on to the next.

Day after day, most things stay the same.

Wake up, work, dinner, whatever, sleep. Repeat four times until Saturday. Rest.

I worry every day about getting bills paid and not … Read the rest

eat the rich

I hate authority.

I absolutely hate it.

The fact that I have a boss is one of the worst things in my entire life.

It doesn’t even matter who the boss is.

The boss I have now has her Jekyll and Hyde moments… or hours, or days… But overall, she’s a nice, pleasant, funny woman.

I often think that if we had met each other when we were children she would have been a friend I would have kept forever.

However, when she talks to me in a tone and looks at me like she believes I’m stupid, I forget … Read the rest

i want to go home

About a year and a half ago my parents sold the house that I grew up in.

It wasn’t just the house that I grew up in.

It’s the house where my sister, and then many years later, my daughter, were brought home to sleep in a crib within walls that had already seen the beginnings of two other women in my family.

The house was in my family for four generations, although at one point, there was a fifth.

My childhood was spent in that little (kind of too little) Cape on a hill. I lived with my great-grandmother, … Read the rest

you can’t win if you don’t play

I’m not a lucky kind of person.

When I was younger, I used to go to Foxwoods to play BINGO quite often.

I loved the whole experience of it – waiting in line to get my cards, then going over to the two-dollar dobber store and picking out which color I wanted (usually pink or green), and then finding a place to sit in the massive room that had a haze of cigarette smoke hanging above everyone’s head.

My friend(s) and I would set up somewhere and then look around and make fun of all the people who brought entire … Read the rest

nothing is forever, not even close

“All I’ve ever wanted is to be a writer” is a sentence I’m sure I and many other writers have uttered throughout life, and it’s true but also not true.

There was a time in childhood when I watched the movie SpaceCamp over and over and over again and then was taken to the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum in Washington, D.C. where I doubled down on my dream.

I took home posters of the Milky Way and a Space Shuttle pointing at the sky, its bottom engulfed in the flames from the rockets about to take them away.

I Read the rest

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