“Well, you’re not what I expected.”

“Bow to me!”

“Yeah, no, I don’t think I’m gonna do that.”

“You are a servant of God!”

“Yeah, no, I’m actually not.”

“You mock me?”

“Yeah. Are you the one in charge around here?”

“I rule the land and seas and sky.”

“Okay, well, you’re doing a really shit job of it. The air is polluted, the seas are filling with garbage, and the land is either flooding or on fire at any given time. Plus, we have millions of people fighting in wars over land… or God.”

“I need a fucking vacation.”… Read the rest

“I can’t believe you agreed to do this, grandpa!”

“I have the time now, sweetheart.”

“You sure you’re up for this?”

“Well, I won’t let you go it alone, kiddo.”

“Who’s first?”

She stepped right up to the door and gave me the thumbs up before she jumped and was out of sight.

The man strapped to my back started pushing me toward the door.

“Now that she’s out, I don’t really have to go, I’m fine,” I said.

“You’re fine? Let’s rock and roll!”

I didn’t jump out of a plane, he did.

I was along for the ride.… Read the rest

We walk up to the paddock and he waves his arm toward his stock.

“They’re all purebreds, straight from Xygoth.”

“They look… disgusting, and they smell… what even is that?”

“That’s their natural musk, it’s fine.”

“Don’t you have anything smaller, and faster?”

“Oh, you don’t want anything but this. The Canonalls are the best to ride across the desert. They don’t need much water at all.”

“Right, but…” I didn’t know what to say. The monster hulked before me with it’s scaly, elephant thick skin with long ropes of droll dropping from it’s dopey face.

“Okay. I’ll take her.”… Read the rest

She called me and I didn’t answer. I didn’t answer the first time, or the third, or the tenth.

I didn’t want to hear from her, ever.

I hadn’t talked to my sister in years and was doing good work forgetting the sound of her voice.

She abandoned our family, thinking she didn’t need us. We weren’t good enough, or rich enough, or interesting enough for her.

I used to say she wouldn’t piss on me if I were on fire, and maybe that’s true, but finally I answer:

“WHAT?!”

“Please, I need you, I’m sorry.”

“Well, that’s too bad.”… Read the rest

When I met you I already knew you.
Even though I hadn’t known you existed yet,
I already knew you’d be mine.

Lacing my fingers with yours
for the very first time
felt like coming home to
a place I’d long forgotten
and didn’t know I was missing.

When you touch me I light up,
when you kiss me you bring
me to life; you are my tall, cold drink.

My skin twin, my love of my life,
we’ve crossed seas of time and
six anniversaries, this is not
a casual affair, this is a romance
written in the stars.… Read the rest