the first night
we spent in a hotel together
did not go as planned

the room was not
the one we pictured and dreamed of
the view was not as good as we’d hoped,
a music festival blared through
the closed windows

I was never able to shake
the nerves that gripped me
from the very start

you didn’t want to go out
you didn’t want to do anything

we just laid in bed together
and watched Ford vs. Ferrari
while I hoped you weren’t
thinking the whole time
what I know to be true in my soul

that I’d sell it to the devil
for a night locked in a room
with a willing Christian Bale

but later we walked two blocks
to what would become our
favorite restaurant in the state
and that night we sat out
in the street under strings of lights
and drank way too much tequila
before we stumbled back to our
overpriced and heartbreaking haven

making love at least one more time
before the morning came
and you broke my heart in a way
that it had never been broken or
hurt before, and I had to
drive us home, crying,
knowing that when we got there
you would leave

I didn’t know then
that the cycle would
repeat itself indefinitely

I didn’t know when
you drove away that afternoon
that we still had countless
margaritas to drink
and hundreds of chips
to dip into salsa
at that restaurant in the city

the one that felt like ours
right from the beginning
from that very first drink
under stars and around
other souls sharing space

I ordered what I wanted
even though it wasn’t on the menu
and I embarrassed and
annoyed you every time I’m sure,
while you simply enjoyed
the best street tacos the state
had to offer, the award-winning ones
they advertised on their windows
the ones that made our
favorite little Mexican joint
too popular to get a quick seat

and it only took a few years
to realize that when we went there
ordering the largest
margarita on the menu
was the right choice for us

and this is another time
I took a stolen, sneaky
photo of you, chip loaded up
with salsa and your mouth
hanging open ready to take it

and your eyes staring at me
over the massive margarita

so blue that day

so clear and perfectly blue

Inspired by the Writer’s Write October prompts | Photo by me.