Today I messed around with my social media accounts so everything matches with the same profile picture and name – except for this domain, of course, but how could I not and wouldn’t you?

I’m forty-three fucking years old.

I go to therapy every week in part to hear my therapist tell me over and over again:

The only thing you can control is how you react to things.

I can’t control how other people react to things, I can’t control what they think about me, I can only control how I react or respond to things that happen to … Read the rest

Before we spent hundreds of sleepovers together, there were games of musical chairs and run rover; we were children together. We were awkward adolescents tent camping in your backyard so your parents wouldn’t bother us, we peed in the woods, we used your tennis rackets to see if we could swat bats out of the sky. Youth was effortless, wasn’t it? We used to dream about the future like it was this exciting place we’d finally get to someday – adulthood! And now here we are, and look at us. The greatest joke between us is that all we do … Read the rest

neither of us were ever good,
and neither of us had anything
but bad intentions, and maybe
at the very least, decency, but
even that could be argued.

he was no summit to reach
or prize to win, but i can see
how people might see otherwise,
and it doesn’t matter whether
i say it or not because no one
will ever believe that i am sorry

i am sorry

but we’re always in bed together
by 10 o’clock and he does all the
dishes and i do all the laundry and
somehow this is life now, like
i never … Read the rest

the sky isn’t trying to put on a show
with its cotton candy colors, it doesn’t
need to reach to be impressive, like
the need i have to be seen by you

it just is what it is and everyone loves it
and it’s beautiful, so why not go big?

why not, when the time is passing
so quickly we get whiplash and i’m
afraid that soon, tomorrow will be too late?

a girl can get a real headache from
staring at the sun; when we think we’re
staring down the future, but
we’re really looking at the past

Today’s … Read the rest