Interesting choice, deciding after all this time that maybe you’d rather be alone. This is fine, I tell myself. I’m tired of treading water with you. I’ve been the most patient person the world’s ever seen, when I make excuses for why, after all this time, you won’t marry me. Nothing to see here, I think, as other couples walk past us in restaurants. When do we go out that we don’t spend just a little bit of time resenting each other? We can barely dine in public without making a scene. This isn’t fine, I tell myself now. … Read the rest

the end of love comes slowly like the cold breeze from the window, creeping up until you find yourself frozen. stuck. and it hurts more than usual because you’ve had that love for years and years, but if you ignore someone long enough, they stop caring about wanting to be seen by you. they won’t care if you see them anymore. they’ll want someone else to look and be enthralled, like you once were, remember? if you could construct a house in your mind, a restoration of the place you felt most loved and happy in this life, the house … Read the rest

If I were in the upside-down
of course it would be formidable,
of course I would be reaching for
your hand to hold in the dark,
but what would I find?

You’ve shed your old self
at least twice over, and you
feel the need again to come out
revived, another brand new you,
and that’s also alarming.

Who will you be?

Will you choose to be a single man
living alone the rest of his life, a
hermit who lives for the needs of others
and doesn’t think enough of himself
to let himself be loved?

Will you like … Read the rest

It’s time to go, I think, but there’s nothing I can do, there’s nowhere I can go. This little house is our house, not just my house anymore. Three other souls are home here, and why should there be a switch because I can’t get my shit together? I wake early now, much earlier than you, to do the things you used to do like pace the floors and weep. I am praying that someday soon these words will take a turn for the better, that I’ll find out someday whether I can write poetry when I’m happy. For … Read the rest

Touching you was once an afterthought, it just came as naturally as breathing. If you were within reach, I felt the urge to reach for you. I wanted to stretch out my arm so my finger could have a chance to touch your skin, your sleeve, your back as you walk away. It’s been a slow change, this horizontal move away from me. You’re still here but inching further away. Your hugs don’t last as long, or your cuddles. Your kisses aren’t as long and passionate. You won’t hold me every day like you used to. Where are you going? … Read the rest