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Author: Cheney (Page 1 of 9)

nine twenty-eight twenty-four

December 13, 2024 / / 0 Comments

I’m not sure if it’s normal for people to save their “now” pages once things are totally different and you update them, but that’s what I want to do.

I think it will be good for me to come back every once in a while and see how much things change.

9.28.24

Right now, I am trying hard to remind myself of what that dude said in that incredible art he made above.

I am trying to remind myself that even though I’m a week into 42, I still have plenty of time left in my life to find someone to love who will love me and treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

It has been twenty days since I’ve last seen, heard, or touched the man I wanted to marry, and although I feel like I’m doing relatively okay, I still miss him. I miss his smile, his smell, his laugh, and the way all of him fit into all of me, among a million other little things.

I am really going to miss holding his hand.

But I can’t let this break up break me.

I have to stay on my feet and keep moving forward toward the life I want to have.

I want to read more, I want to write more fiction, I want to drink more good beer – especially the festbiers in season right now! (Yes, Oktoberfest is in September!)

I want to be healthier – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I want to move forward, not backward.

Right now, the world is a dumpster fire, and I want to live in a world where my president is a woman and a minority.

(Plus, I have an old sweatshirt that boasts “MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK” and it would be cool to wear it again).

We all have a lot of work to do, and our work starts with VOTING FOR KAMALA HARRIS on Tuesday, November 5th, 2024 – go to vote.gov to find out if you’re registered and where to find your local polling station.

Right now, I am grateful that I wake up every day and get to go to work in a place where you never know if you’ll come across a T-Rex for no reason at all.

I love my job, I am blessed and lucky to have found it, and even more so that I’ve fit in so well with the other employees and volunteers.

Right now, my day job is actually my biggest source of joy.

That’s okay, for now.

Right now, I can only approach my road from one direction between the hours of 9 pm and 5 am, because I kind of live in the epicenter of my state’s biggest stretch of I-95 reconstruction.

Next week, my on-ramp will close, and I’ll have to drive an extra few minutes around town to be able to begin my trek to said job that I love.

This whole thing is like living around the M25 as described in Good Omens:

The thousands of motorists who daily fume their way around its serpentine lengths have the same effect as water on a prayer wheel, grinding out an endless fog of low.. grade evil to pollute the metaphysical atmosphere for scores of miles around. 

All of this to say –

Things aren’t great right now, but they’re not the worst they’ve ever been.

Inspired by: nownownow.com

I miss old-school blogging so here I am again.

December 9, 2024 / / 0 Comments

There’s no point in me rehashing this in detail so I’ll keep it brief:

I’ve been writing on the Internet for as long as the Internet has existed, but due to my imposter syndrome, I have deleted all of those blogs and stories except the ones I still have on Medium.

I don’t need to learn anything from anyone when I am reading blogs online, and I don’t feel like this is the place where I am going to bring readers to teach them something I barely know.

I barely know anything, so how could I, anyway?

But here’s the thing.

I am very excited about starting a new story – literally and metaphorically, but particularly a new, long, fiction project, and if I am going to try that again, I am going to need someone or someplace to complain to about how hard it is to write a book.

Then, I need to whine and cry and be supported when I get to the hardest part – editing a book well enough to think that it will sell.

I hope I don’t bother anyone.

I may post a little, I may post a lot.

I’ve found myself crushing on Bluesky lately and I want to be one of those people who get to say:

“I finished my first draft today!”

So, I suppose I should figure out what the hell I want to write about at all.

I promise you no “good” content.

There will probably not be any “good” essays unless there are ones I crosspost on Medium.

But there will be me, dumping my brain.

This is your warning that you should not follow me unless you are interested in the writer’s journeys of people who barely make time to write fiction in the first place.

The not-Writers.

The not-writing writers.

I don’t want to be one of those people anymore, so wish me luck.

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

delay

November 26, 2024 / / 0 Comments

It’s been nearly 
five years 
and I’ve grown 
weary 
waiting for you, 
but you said 
the end is near, 
the delay
almost over, 
so in a few days 
I’ll be making room 
on a particular finger. 
I’ll be as ready 
as I’ve been 
for nearly five years. 
There’s nothing I want 
more than us.

Photo by JUDY ANN DAYOT on Unsplash

skerry

November 25, 2024 / / 0 Comments

People think 
I’m only joking 
when I say
I want to run away 
to a tropical island 
where no one can find me — 
but with my luck, 
I’ll get nothing more 
than a skerry
to cling to, 
and the waves will 
keep pounding me 
either way. 
Still, having the chance, 
I’d go.

Photo by Geoffrey Moffett on Unsplash

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