When you leave we don’t say goodbye anymore. I don’t pause to put down my coffee and stand to get one last hug and kiss from you, I don’t tell you I love you, I don’t walk you to the door so I can shut it quietly behind you. Later, I’m cold as ice and turn my head from you, I don’t want to look at you, especially as we decorate the tree with things you dragged from the basement without me asking. This was going to be our first real Christmas in our home, and now it’s going to … Read the rest
Posts tagged poetry writing
missed possessions
I almost got what I wanted could be the story of my life. A Mitsubishi Eclipse in 2001. A job that would have had me moving to New Orleans in 2003. An abortion in 2005. A lifetime with you. We were at the edge of forever, dancing around it like we do in the kitchen now, orbiting each other so we never touch. Every time you make a dinner I don’t deserve, I walk in there with hunger and walk out feeling like I left my heart behind.
Today’s poetry prompt words were: I almost got what I wanted, at … Read the rest
lights, camera, smile
Maybe they were right all along, and there was never any reason to have hope for us. Why should we think our magic stardust love will conquer the universe? It won’t. Out of billions we found each other, but why? Why, when the toxic waters run deep and swift and you’re tearing out my heart again like the dentist pulling teeth without warning? Here’s what I know: I will leave your life and not look back, and both of us will soldier on. I’ll find the love I’m looking for, and eventually you won’t even get my name right in … Read the rest
know when to fold
i want a whole new life,
everything but this.
if you put it all
under the microscope
you wouldn’t see life
you’d see death.
there’s no use for
a risk assessment.
the gambles have
all been bet and
the house already won.
Today’s poetry prompt words were: everything but this, under the microscope, and risk assessment.
walking alone
Six years is a long time, and forever was so close I could smell it. It smelled like the salty sea wind, and funky fermentation, and piles of nachos and poutine. And, oh, campfires. The smell of smoke, of things going up in flames, will always remind me of you. We tried, but the opposing forces were stronger than us. No matter how many times you told me that all we needed was love, it turns out I loved you too much. I will never have another love like this again, and that’s a good thing. I want a love … Read the rest
waiting room
Don’t believe in the
chemistry, it will not last.
Think of your future.
Get back in that waiting room
and be patient for your love.
Today’s poetry prompt words were: believe, chemistry, and waiting room.
I’ll say again – my boyfriend and I are not broken or breaking up, but poets, you know it, sometimes you go deeper into the well of yourself and pull out what hurts. Like putting it on the page, getting it out there eases it somehow, cause you’re sharing the load with others.
Photo by Edwin Chen on Unsplash
fuck that ring
I remember the day in a brewery you glanced at your hand and said with surprise, “Look, the indentation from my ring is gone,” and I thought finally, because I had been waiting for that to go away.
That fucking thing, that fucking ring, was the thing that hurt me most. That symbol of a broken promise still lingering on your skin longer after the pressure was off.
What happens after I find out you put it back on because you miss her, that life, that ring? My heart breaks and we break, and there’s no surprise in … Read the rest
resignation
where were we when things fell apart?
i missed it, i guess, the moment
that we went from we to
what we used to be
whatever it is you need
i can’t give it to you
and i have never been
more sorry, i’ve never
wanted more to be
someone different, and better
i know us and know
an ultimatum is coming
i just don’t know from
which one of us and
i think it’s 50/50
we will break each other
just like we always do
i’ll be sitting somewhere
crying while you pack
boxes and run back and
forth … Read the rest
petulant child
Interesting choice, deciding after all this time that maybe you’d rather be alone. This is fine, I tell myself. I’m tired of treading water with you. I’ve been the most patient person the world’s ever seen, when I make excuses for why, after all this time, you won’t marry me. Nothing to see here, I think, as other couples walk past us in restaurants. When do we go out that we don’t spend just a little bit of time resenting each other? We can barely dine in public without making a scene. This isn’t fine, I tell myself now. … Read the rest