We walk up the old wood path that is obscured by mist, which makes everything colored in a haze of green reflected from the lush trees.

“We should turn back,” Micah said.

“No, we’re too close, it’s right here.”

And it was. They’d reached the tree they searched for, and knocked three times on its bark.

A hidden door swung in and bright light emanated from within. Cheney proceeded directly inside while Micah tried and failed to stop her.

He was glad he did.

They’d found the ancient, secret library of the mystics, and now everything in it was theirs.… Read the rest

In therapy, we are EMDRing our way toward feeling like enough.

I show up, I trace the green dot back and forth with my eyes while I think of the worst memory of my entire life and cry about it.

And then we do it again. And again. And again.

The same place, the same words spoken, the same gold couch, the same familiar face becoming a stranger in seconds.

It’s like physical therapy for your brain: sometimes it has to hurt a little more before it starts feeling better.

Though I miss him, reminiscing can be sweet yet sickening.… Read the rest

We stood in the street looking at the house for what felt like hours.

It got so late in the afternoon, I didn’t think we were going to make it inside before dark, and we had to be home before dark.

It would be fine; we wouldn’t have time to go inside.

But I was wrong, of course, and my friends got me to follow them through that open door that was hanging on one rusty hinge.

We never thought it could slam behind us.

We never could have imagined what would be on the other side of that door.… Read the rest

I’ve traveled incomparable distances through space and time to be you.

I’ve seen all the things that you’ve missed: the dinosaurs, the Neanderthal’s (who say hello), the Romans, the rise of Nazis, the fall of America.

(Oh wait, you’re not missing that, you’re living it.)

Within you are billions of years of time getting your back, making your spine tall and strong as a planet of its own, what everything else is tied to, to make you.

You will never see me, even if you think you do, that shimmer on your skin is your own glow, babydoll. Shine on.… Read the rest

The days we went to the beach and searched for sea glass, the days we spent at new breweries, the days we hung around campsites – it was days like these that made me miss you a deadly amount.

Deadly, by which I mean, I felt like I wanted to be dead without you; I didn’t think I could live without you.

I couldn’t live knowing you were out in the world, in a place where I couldn’t touch you and love you.

Despite what you think or want to believe, I believe you are mine, and you always will … Read the rest