The best thing I’ve ever found

WordPress asks today:

The most important invention in your lifetime is…

and a shrill voice in my mind screams:

“Modern indoor plumbing!”

but then I considered, well, that wasn’t invented in my lifetime.

I am lucky enough to have been able to enjoy cleaning my butt with toilet paper and flushing it away my whole life, so that doesn’t count.

Well, the next answer was obvious to me:

The Internet.

I have a horrible memory.

I don’t remember core moments of my life like a normal person does.

I don’t remember the first time I ever got my period, I … Read the rest

any day with you, babe

When I was younger, there is no doubt that my most ideal day, beginning to end, would be one spent in New York City.

I might even want to spend that day there alone, because I did that once, I went for three days and two nights alone, and it was the best trip to the city I can remember.

I took the train, a little over two hours from New Haven to Grand Central, and I sat writing in my journal and listening to music.

But the people around me didn’t know that part of that time I wasn’t … Read the rest

every day will eventually end

When I met Bobby I had been single for a long time.

I hadn’t gone on a date in about four years, and I had lost all confidence in myself, both emotionally and physically.

Every once in a while, usually when we’re fighting, he brings up the fact that when we met, I was doing intense EMDR therapy to, as he says, “get over” my ex.

It’s not getting over my exes that is the problem – they’re all gone for a reason.

Getting over the way things had ended was the issue.

I was stunned by it; it was … Read the rest

I’m Not Ready to Give Up

If you’d like, you can also read this for free on Medium.

I don’t know what to do with myself right now.

Just over a year ago, I started work at a wonderful place with wonderful people, and over 90% of the time I can confidently say that I love my job, and being there makes me happy.

That is a true statement.

For the entirety of my life since I grasped the understanding as a child that one day I would have to work at a job to have money to live, I knew that the only job … Read the rest

nine twenty-eight twenty-four

I’m not sure if it’s normal for people to save their “now” pages once things are totally different and you update them, but that’s what I want to do.

I think it will be good for me to come back every once in a while and see how much things change.

9.28.24

Right now, I am trying hard to remind myself of what that dude said in that incredible art he made above.

I am trying to remind myself that even though I’m a week into 42, I still have plenty of time left in my life to find someone … Read the rest

I miss old-school blogging so here I am again.

There’s no point in me rehashing this in detail so I’ll keep it brief:

I’ve been writing on the Internet for as long as the Internet has existed, but due to my imposter syndrome, I have deleted all of those blogs and stories except the ones I still have on Medium.

I don’t need to learn anything from anyone when I am reading blogs online, and I don’t feel like this is the place where I am going to bring readers to teach them something I barely know.

I barely know anything, so how could I, anyway?

But here’s … Read the rest

delay

It’s been nearly 
five years 
and I’ve grown 
weary 
waiting for you, 
but you said 
the end is near, 
the delay
almost over, 
so in a few days 
I’ll be making room 
on a particular finger. 
I’ll be as ready 
as I’ve been 
for nearly five years. 
There’s nothing I want 
more than us.

Photo by JUDY ANN DAYOT on Unsplash