in Before Now

Twelve Thirteen Twenty-four

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NOW: 12/13/24

Trump fucking won the election again, and the anger I have toward that entire situation and the people who put us into it is, um, intense.

Despite the world being a dumpster fire even more so than usual, there are still some things in my life that are going well and that I appreciate very much. 

I love my job, I am blessed and lucky to have found it, and even more so that I’ve fit in so well with the other employees and volunteers. 

The above is still true. 

December 4th was my first anniversary at my … Read the rest

in Poems

a lucky shot in the dark

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shallow focus photography of four leaf clover

i think of my life sometimes
in the context of Tswift lyrics:
“we never had a shotgun shot in the dark” to
“we are a shot in the darkest dark” to
“august sipped away like a bottle of wine –
’cause you were never mine”
yet, look – here you are next to me
on the couch having coffee every morning
here are your boxer briefs i wash and fold
with my heart full of love and feeling lucky
because i get to be the one to fold your underwear
how easy, how comfortable, how perfect it can be
the … Read the rest

in Blog Written Promptly

our parents were lucky

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people holding white mugs

Getting older, and watching my parents and grandparents age, is incredibly hard.

I’ve always been very aware of my age and the passing of time.

These days it feels like time is flying by so much faster than I want it to; I want it to slow down. I want to be able to appreciate and savor more of the good things before having to move on to the next.

Day after day, most things stay the same.

Wake up, work, dinner, whatever, sleep. Repeat four times until Saturday. Rest.

I worry every day about getting bills paid and not … Read the rest

in Blog Written Promptly

eat the rich

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I hate authority.

I absolutely hate it.

The fact that I have a boss is one of the worst things in my entire life.

It doesn’t even matter who the boss is.

The boss I have now has her Jekyll and Hyde moments… or hours, or days… But overall, she’s a nice, pleasant, funny woman.

I often think that if we had met each other when we were children she would have been a friend I would have kept forever.

However, when she talks to me in a tone and looks at me like she believes I’m stupid, I forget … Read the rest

in Blog Written Promptly

i want to go home

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About a year and a half ago my parents sold the house that I grew up in.

It wasn’t just the house that I grew up in.

It’s the house where my sister, and then many years later, my daughter, were brought home to sleep in a crib within walls that had already seen the beginnings of two other women in my family.

The house was in my family for four generations, although at one point, there was a fifth.

My childhood was spent in that little (kind of too little) Cape on a hill. I lived with my great-grandmother, … Read the rest

in Blog Written Promptly

you can’t win if you don’t play

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silhouette photography of person standing on rock

I’m not a lucky kind of person.

When I was younger, I used to go to Foxwoods to play BINGO quite often.

I loved the whole experience of it – waiting in line to get my cards, then going over to the two-dollar dobber store and picking out which color I wanted (usually pink or green), and then finding a place to sit in the massive room that had a haze of cigarette smoke hanging above everyone’s head.

My friend(s) and I would set up somewhere and then look around and make fun of all the people who brought entire … Read the rest

in Blog On Writing Written Promptly

nothing is forever, not even close

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“All I’ve ever wanted is to be a writer” is a sentence I’m sure I and many other writers have uttered throughout life, and it’s true but also not true.

There was a time in childhood when I watched the movie SpaceCamp over and over and over again and then was taken to the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum in Washington, D.C. where I doubled down on my dream.

I took home posters of the Milky Way and a Space Shuttle pointing at the sky, its bottom engulfed in the flames from the rockets about to take them away.

I … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

perfect for me

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If I think hard about it,
you are perfect.

You bring everything
to the table
and offer everything
that I want.

You are dependable.
No matter what, or when,
or with who, you always
provide the same comfort,
the same sweetness
that brings me peace.

You make me melt,
you make me feel addicted,
like I have to clutch you
in my hot, hot hands
to keep you mine
to keep you you
before you’re gone.

When you enter me
there is a shock of sweetness –
sugar, plain and simple.
But the longer you linger,
the more delicious you … Read the rest

in Blog Written Promptly

am I in this for the long haul?

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I have been feeling awful lately.

Since I had COVID-19 for the third time in December of 2022, my body has not been the same.

I have a running list of symptoms that I’ve been dealing with since then:

  • Fatigue
  • Brain Fog
  • Joint Pain (worse than usual)
  • Hot flashes
  • Heat intolerance
  • Constant dry mouth
  • Sleep Apnea
  • Hyperparathyroidism
  • Iron Deficiency Anemia
  • B-12 deficiency
  • Neuropathy
  • Depression (worse than usual)
  • Anxiety (worse than usual)
  • Forgetfulness/memory issues
  • High blood pressure
  • Tachycardia
  • swelling in the feet and ankles
  • and did I mention the oppressive, crushing, painful, and relentless fatigue?

I just had a nuclear stress … Read the rest