in Poems Written Promptly

city song

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right now there’s ringing in my ears, and besides that the drip of
the cat’s water fountain and the hum, perhaps, of a water heater,
and i want none of those sounds, i want silence unless it’s something
i’ve been wanting to hear.

i want to travel to florida and see my friend Todd, i want to hear the
dull roar of a plane cruising at altitude, i want him to hear his eggs
crackling over easy, spitting and popping butter, before the whoooosh
of him pouring my scrambled ones into the pan. And the drip of his
coffee pot, … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

here you are

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here you are. you had one foot over the fence and now here you are. 
no more of that painful limbo, no more wondering “what will happen
that will make him leave again?” even if you are the one to facilitate the leaving.
set it and forget it, you tell yourself. you get what you get and you 
don’t get upset. if you start to stray into thoughts that cause you fear,
remember the times you were comforted, and remember the things that count.

tell yourself you don’t need anymore manifestation or magical thinking, 
you just need to be the … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

no matter what

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no matter what it looks like when things finally 
get shook up and then settle down, I will be here by your side.
I will be the one who keeps loving you and loving you
and showing you love, and no one can possibly say we
deserve anything worse than this, or anything more than this.
there are plenty of people in this world I could have met and made a 
makeshift life with, I would have laughed and smiled at their jokes 
the way I smile at you and laugh at yours, you ridiculous little boy. 
so no matter … Read the rest

in Blog On Writing Writing is Hard

down the road a piece

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Two years ago, right around now, I was supposed to be going to Maine for a writer’s retreat led by my favorite living poet.

That didn’t end up happening because I didn’t find a job by then and I was rapidly running out of money. I had to take the refund when I had the chance and save all the money I would have spent on hotels and gas and food for the few days I would be there.

To say I was devastated would be putting it lightly, because this is also just after I would have been seeing … Read the rest

in Blog

the relief of therapy & some thoughts on AI

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I got a new therapist a few weeks ago. I think we just had our third session last night and I can already tell I am going to love working with her, because this is going to be actual work, not just a weekly scheduled bitchfest to a willing (and paid) ear.

She’s giving me skills, she’s giving me suggestions for homework, she’s giving me books to read, all of it. I am here for it.

One thing we talked about yesterday is how I just suddenly quit a few things that I’d loved doing and had been doing for … Read the rest

in Blog

I want peace

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I just want everything in life to be going okay right now, and all the time, is really what I want.

I feel like lately things have been better in my relationship and at work, and I am enjoying having a new therapist and new goals. I’ve been walking, intentionally on a treadmill. I’ve been NOT eating too much. I’ve been eating grapes by the handful cause they are so fucking delicious.

I started writing something last night, a new fiction story that I haven’t ever tried before, this is the very beginning of it, and it makes me excited, … Read the rest

in Life

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Last night I had a Stay Toasty by Beer’d, Bobby suggested we make s’mores in the air fryer, so we did, and then I did a lot more writing than I thought I would, which makes me very happy.

in Life

I don’t know what to do with myself.

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I think that AI has officially killed regular blogs and websites like this one.

No one will ever find me here if they don’t come looking for me. No one will find something that I wrote when they search on Google, because I will never rank high enough to make it into the AI generated answers that now take up the whole top half of the page.

I don’t use social media anymore, like Facebook and Instagram, because I think they’re just toxic places I want no part in, and for a while I dabbled on Bluesky but it just … Read the rest