Posts Published by Cheney

in Blog On Writing Writing is Hard

down the road a piece

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Two years ago, right around now, I was supposed to be going to Maine for a writer’s retreat led by my favorite living poet.

That didn’t end up happening because I didn’t find a job by then and I was rapidly running out of money. I had to take the refund when I had the chance and save all the money I would have spent on hotels and gas and food for the few days I would be there.

To say I was devastated would be putting it lightly, because this is also just after I would have been seeing … Read the rest

in Blog

the relief of therapy & some thoughts on AI

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I got a new therapist a few weeks ago. I think we just had our third session last night and I can already tell I am going to love working with her, because this is going to be actual work, not just a weekly scheduled bitchfest to a willing (and paid) ear.

She’s giving me skills, she’s giving me suggestions for homework, she’s giving me books to read, all of it. I am here for it.

One thing we talked about yesterday is how I just suddenly quit a few things that I’d loved doing and had been doing for … Read the rest

in Blog

I want peace

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I just want everything in life to be going okay right now, and all the time, is really what I want.

I feel like lately things have been better in my relationship and at work, and I am enjoying having a new therapist and new goals. I’ve been walking, intentionally on a treadmill. I’ve been NOT eating too much. I’ve been eating grapes by the handful cause they are so fucking delicious.

I started writing something last night, a new fiction story that I haven’t ever tried before, this is the very beginning of it, and it makes me excited, … Read the rest

in Life

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Last night I had a Stay Toasty by Beer’d, Bobby suggested we make s’mores in the air fryer, so we did, and then I did a lot more writing than I thought I would, which makes me very happy.

in Life

I don’t know what to do with myself.

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I think that AI has officially killed regular blogs and websites like this one.

No one will ever find me here if they don’t come looking for me. No one will find something that I wrote when they search on Google, because I will never rank high enough to make it into the AI generated answers that now take up the whole top half of the page.

I don’t use social media anymore, like Facebook and Instagram, because I think they’re just toxic places I want no part in, and for a while I dabbled on Bluesky but it just … Read the rest

in Before Now

Twelve Thirteen Twenty-four

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NOW: 12/13/24

Trump fucking won the election again, and the anger I have toward that entire situation and the people who put us into it is, um, intense.

Despite the world being a dumpster fire even more so than usual, there are still some things in my life that are going well and that I appreciate very much. 

I love my job, I am blessed and lucky to have found it, and even more so that I’ve fit in so well with the other employees and volunteers. 

The above is still true. 

December 4th was my first anniversary at my … Read the rest

shallow focus photography of four leaf clover
in Poems

a lucky shot in the dark

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i think of my life sometimes
in the context of Tswift lyrics:
“we never had a shotgun shot in the dark” to
“we are a shot in the darkest dark” to
“august sipped away like a bottle of wine –
’cause you were never mine”
yet, look – here you are next to me
on the couch having coffee every morning
here are your boxer briefs i wash and fold
with my heart full of love and feeling lucky
because i get to be the one to fold your underwear
how easy, how comfortable, how perfect it can be
the … Read the rest

people holding white mugs
in Blog Written Promptly

our parents were lucky

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Getting older, and watching my parents and grandparents age, is incredibly hard.

I’ve always been very aware of my age and the passing of time.

These days it feels like time is flying by so much faster than I want it to; I want it to slow down. I want to be able to appreciate and savor more of the good things before having to move on to the next.

Day after day, most things stay the same.

Wake up, work, dinner, whatever, sleep. Repeat four times until Saturday. Rest.

I worry every day about getting bills paid and not … Read the rest