Posts tagged poems

in Poems Written Promptly

the only thing I want

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In this relationship I have to be flexible,
I need to always be ready to bend if necessary,
and to make myself small and quiet 
whenever I am asked. 

One of the prices I pay for this relationship 
is silence, my silence, my starvation for
affection and validation, and any 
conceivable hope for the future. 

Those I must pay for
one way or another. 
One day, or not.

In this relationship I have to be ready for 
cliff diving, train jumping, backflips, I
need to be prepared for the quick exits,
I always need to be ready to run. 

I … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

forget about it

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Sunday morning. This was once my favorite time of week, the lazy Sunday morning that would unfold into whatever we desired. It was the magic morning, it was the morning I could almost count on rolling into your arms and then you rolling on top of me. But now? Forget about it. 

I thought you were my kindred spirit. I thought you were my moon and stars. I 
thought you meant it when you said you’d always love me and never leave me,
but that was so stupid of me to believe. I thought you were my skin twin, I … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

no one’s second best

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I thought we were okay.

I was running on autopilot,
that I can admit,
but I know I was here,
present, conscious, 
I know I felt loved even if
I felt it a little bit less. 

I told myself “Sometimes,
it can’t always be 50/50,
sometimes one person needs
to offer the other more when 
their well is running dry.”

So I offered you more. 
I offered to give up my peace 
so that you could have yours
for a while, and apparently,
that wasn’t enough. 

You caught me last night,
deer-in-headlights I sat and
listened to all the things… Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

It’s nothing, I’m fine

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If I asked you what you see in your future I’m sure
I’d only be met with silence. 
Not because you don’t know where we’re going, 
but because you know we won’t like it.

We’re not walking into any future we imagined,
together nor apart, in every way that’s meant. 
Now it seems more like a slide into complicity,
acceptance, and “you get what you get,
and you don’t get upset” like we’re children
who never learned to play by the rules. 

I suffer through sighs and the sad empty gazes.
You suffer metaphorical but actual pain in your heart,… Read the rest

in Poems Travel Written Promptly

patience for the pilgrimage

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there are so many months between me and here and there
but I can’t wait to prepare. I can’t wait to go from wistful dreaming
to actual planning, to opening a duffle bag and beginning to pack.
Clothes and deodorant and soap, various and sundry things to fill 
the space in me (the bag) just like where I’m going will fill the space in me.

a whole entire winter and spring need to pass before this chance comes
and I have to remind myself it’s still a chance, anything can happen
in that amount of time. illness, death, job loss, … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

skin twin

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there are so many things about us that one could make 
one say we mesh. we call each other our skin twins, 
the same light shade but sprinkled with freckles. if we put our
arms against each other, i can’t tell where he ends and i begin.

there’s a comfort here i’ve never had before, the feeling that
i can let go a little bit, not be so close, not be so clingy, not
be so afraid all the time that he will leave me.

(and trust me, i have an excuse for the fear i can’t release)

but for … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

city song

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right now there’s ringing in my ears, and besides that the drip of
the cat’s water fountain and the hum, perhaps, of a water heater,
and i want none of those sounds, i want silence unless it’s something
i’ve been wanting to hear.

i want to travel to florida and see my friend Todd, i want to hear the
dull roar of a plane cruising at altitude, i want him to hear his eggs
crackling over easy, spitting and popping butter, before the whoooosh
of him pouring my scrambled ones into the pan. And the drip of his
coffee pot, … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

here you are

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here you are. you had one foot over the fence and now here you are. 
no more of that painful limbo, no more wondering “what will happen
that will make him leave again?” even if you are the one to facilitate the leaving.
set it and forget it, you tell yourself. you get what you get and you 
don’t get upset. if you start to stray into thoughts that cause you fear,
remember the times you were comforted, and remember the things that count.

tell yourself you don’t need anymore manifestation or magical thinking, 
you just need to be the … Read the rest

in Poems Written Promptly

no matter what

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no matter what it looks like when things finally 
get shook up and then settle down, I will be here by your side.
I will be the one who keeps loving you and loving you
and showing you love, and no one can possibly say we
deserve anything worse than this, or anything more than this.
there are plenty of people in this world I could have met and made a 
makeshift life with, I would have laughed and smiled at their jokes 
the way I smile at you and laugh at yours, you ridiculous little boy. 
so no matter … Read the rest