Tag: poems (Page 3 of 4)

the only thing I want

November 3, 2025 / Cheney / 0 Comments

In this relationship I have to be flexible,
I need to always be ready to bend if necessary,
and to make myself small and quiet
whenever I am asked.

One of the prices I pay for this relationship
is silence, my silence, my starvation for
affection and validation, and any
conceivable hope for the future.

Those I must pay for
one way or another.
One day, or not.

In this relationship I have to be ready for
cliff diving, train jumping, backflips, I
need to be prepared for the quick exits,
I always need to be ready to run.

I … Read the rest

Sunday morning. This was once my favorite time of week, the lazy Sunday morning
that would unfold into whatever we desired. It was the magic morning, it was the
morning I could almost count on rolling into your arms and then you rolling on top
of me. But now? Forget about it.

I thought you were my kindred spirit. I thought you were my moon and stars. I
thought you meant it when you said you’d always love me and never leave me,
but that was so stupid of me to believe. I thought you were my skin twin, I … Read the rest

no one’s second best

November 1, 2025 / Cheney / 0 Comments

I thought we were okay.

I was running on autopilot,
that I can admit,
but I know I was here,
present, conscious,
I know I felt loved even if
I felt it a little bit less.

I told myself “Sometimes,
it can’t always be 50/50,
sometimes one person needs
to offer the other more when
their well is running dry.”

So I offered you more.
I offered to give up my peace
so that you could have yours
for a while, and apparently,
that wasn’t enough.

You caught me last night,
deer-in-headlights I sat and
listened to all the things… Read the rest

It’s nothing, I’m fine

October 31, 2025 / Cheney / 0 Comments

If I asked you what you see in your future I’m sure
I’d only be met with silence.
Not because you don’t know where we’re going,
but because you know we won’t like it.

We’re not walking into any future we imagined,
together nor apart, in every way that’s meant.
Now it seems more like a slide into complicity,
acceptance, and “you get what you get,
and you don’t get upset” like we’re children
who never learned to play by the rules.

I suffer through sighs and the sad empty gazes.
You suffer metaphorical but actual pain in your heart,… Read the rest

patience for the pilgrimage

October 30, 2025 / Cheney / 0 Comments

there are so many months between me and here and there
but I can’t wait to prepare. I can’t wait to go from wistful dreaming
to actual planning, to opening a duffle bag and beginning to pack.
Clothes and deodorant and soap, various and sundry things to fill
the space in me (the bag) just like where I’m going will fill the space in me.

a whole entire winter and spring need to pass before this chance comes
and I have to remind myself it’s still a chance, anything can happen
in that amount of time. illness, death, job loss, … Read the rest

the only thing I want

forget about it

no one’s second best

It’s nothing, I’m fine

patience for the pilgrimage