You tell me what you want for dinner and I feel nothing but relief. Thank God I don’t have to make that decision again today. The heavy weight of adulthood is a deathly oppression. There’s a chance of heavy storms in the forecast, and one can only be pushed so far, little dove, before they’ll fall from the sky.
I have no illusions of forever. My forever should have started twenty years ago, instead it ended right when it was picking up speed. I’ve learned since that all I am is someone’s missing piece. I’m what they use to fill … Read the rest
Pay attention to the signals ahead. I missed my exit because I was skipping a song to one that didn’t remind me of him and when he loved me more than he does now. Be wary of any short hugs and apathetic answers, and stop wondering whether a separation will help, because it won’t. Remember that we have one single life and for all we know, we only have a handful of years left to live. Pay attention to the signals. And if you see a red flag, it’s not just okay — it’s the right thing to run.
Today’s … Read the rest
I don’t want a big life,
but I don’t want a
small life either.
I want a calm, happy,
fulfilled life,
which is one I
doubt I’ll ever have.
Can you believe it
when I tell you I
want my parent’s life?
That I want their
quiet, steadfast love,
their iron belief
in each other?
I spent so many
years trying to
run from them
telling myself this
is the worst
that can happen to me
and I was so wrong.
It would be the best thing
to go to bed and never
wonder whether
the one you love
wants … Read the rest
You can tell I’m nervous when I don’t shut up, when I turn into a chatterbox that will do or say anything to avoid having to do or say what has to be done or said. I am not brave. I am not fearless. I am not even casual, ever, it’s always all or nothing for me, this or that.
But when it comes to you I’m able to slow down. Really, I have no choice. Your skin against mine creates a still silence that comes from nowhere else, only you, you soft mouse.
No one will hear you unless … Read the rest
When you were younger you read that Robert Frost poem like everyone else in school and spent years dreaming of that point in your life where two paths finally diverge. All those years you spent trudging down that pin-straight road, fretful for the future, trying not to detour into the thick woods like the thickheaded people who think they know better.
You keep your eyes forward and back straight, plodding along as more and more people fall by the wayside or disappear into the forest, and you can feel it when you’re finally alone, when there’s nothing but you and … Read the rest
It’s been twenty-five years since you’ve stood with your friends singing Hallelujah on a stage, feeling the vibration of a hundred voices lifting from the platform to the sky. It’s been twenty years since you listened to that same song on the way to your friend’s funeral. He’d shot himself to death at work. What a life. Now you can’t listen to that song without crying and you will always wonder how you couldn’t have seen it coming, and why no one ever usually sees it coming. There should be a prescription everyone gets at birth, an RX for love … Read the rest
it wasn’t the argument that ended things for you,
the one you held on to and wrote about, the one
you felt was so demeaning and mean —
it was a simple question — and you wanted to give a
simple, honest answer
that’s it
that’s all
you didn’t know what would happen
you didn’t even know what you wanted
to happen, but you lit the fuse that
would eventually blast you
to smithereens
boom
poof
and all these years later we are both
asking what the hell were you thinking
to do things like that, to do everything
the … Read the rest
this is a small life, very small,
miniature if you want more, which
is also less, and the thing is
you can’t complain
the thing is
all of this was a gift
that you didn’t ask for but
have to appreciate, or so
“they” say; you have to make
the most out of every precious moment
but i feel like a wallflower
in my own fucking life, like
i’m watching from the sidelines
as i make mistake after mistake
as i make my life harder and worse
i want to jump in and grab myself
around the neck and squeeze … Read the rest
