This is not the club
I ever wanted to belong to.
I have nothing against
childless cat ladies; sometimes
I think they’re the lucky ones
if all they have to be
responsible for in life
is their feline friends.
I never wanted to be
in the single mom club
or the forever a fat girl club
or “the ones with serious daddy issues” club.
I didn’t sign up to be
stuck living this life
so afraid I’ll die
from the loneliness,
from the acute and
stinging lack of companionship.
Precious few humans
will be able to die saying
they got all they want in life
and I know I won’t
be one of them, but
Poor choices shouldn’t
punish me forever.
I don’t need everything,
I just need someone’s
hand to hold – a hand
that wants to hold mine.
We never know what
we’re going to get and
we often do or don’t
get what we deserve,
but oh, I have to keep hope.
I want a love that
doesn’t scare me and
a lover who won’t hurt me
and it’s brutal to know
with such deep certainty
how hard those two things are
to find in one person.
Why can’t I be
in the club of people
who get the chance
to have that?
Inspired by the Writer’s Write October prompts | Photo by cottonbro studio