If only things
had worked out
the way I’d wished they would
We’d be opening gifts and
taking photos in front of
our first Christmas tree
But now I wish you
weren’t here, and instead
I’m planning my exit strategy.
Today’s poetry prompt words were: if only, dinner, and exit strategy.
Photo by Andrew Abbate on Unsplash
I wanted to be a part of your family at the Fourth of July picnic that’s crazy like a circus, at your sister’s table on holidays, by your side on Christmas morning. I had dreams of all of these things in my life, and now I look past tomorrow and see nothing but darkness. I’m spaced out in shock, still not wanting to accept it’s over, regarding re-entry into real life as an assault, because how do I live without you? How I go days without talking to you? I won’t be going to your niece’s wedding next year. I … Read the rest
We said it so many times we called it 10%, because it felt like “I love you” was 10% of all we say to each other. Every day, I love you, I love you, I love you, a balm I’ll never grow tired of but, underneath it all, became a noose around your neck. We’ll stick to easy games; no tag, no red rover, no hopscotch, nothing that involves touching or thinking about you. Finger painting, maybe, that’s an activity we can do together now that cuddling and sex are off the table. My best friend has a sex painting. … Read the rest
When are you most happy?
A month ago I would have told you I was most happy cuddled in bed with my boyfriend, no clothes, skin on skin, arms and legs wrapped around each other and as close as we could physically be.
But we are done with our relationship now.
I am done with it. I don’t care whether he wants to “keep working on things”.
I don’t want to keep working on things, and that’s a good enough reason to let go and let it be over.
Is my heart broken? Yeah. I woke up this morning … Read the rest
I was once told that when you love someone, to you, they’re the most beautiful thing in the world. That gave me hope, and now it will give me comfort the first time I take my clothes off in front of a new man. Not that I really think or expect any new man to love me, but I still need to get laid either way. So for now I am not a beautiful or loved thing. All the love I ever had can be spoken now in past tense. The present is talking freedom and second, third, and millionth … Read the rest
I almost got what I wanted could be the story of my life. A Mitsubishi Eclipse in 2001. A job that would have had me moving to New Orleans in 2003. An abortion in 2005. A lifetime with you. We were at the edge of forever, dancing around it like we do in the kitchen now, orbiting each other so we never touch. Every time you make a dinner I don’t deserve, I walk in there with hunger and walk out feeling like I left my heart behind.
Today’s poetry prompt words were: I almost got what I wanted, at … Read the rest
Today, I’m sorry that any of this happened
and if I could, I would take it back
by any means necessary to save my
heart from breaking over you again.
Hearts are supposed to be these strong,
red, hot, beating to keep the body alive
organs, and not what I feel I have in the
middle of my chest, just this melting piece of ice.
Today’s poetry prompt words were: I’m sorry, by any means necessary, and ice.
Maybe they were right all along, and there was never any reason to have hope for us. Why should we think our magic stardust love will conquer the universe? It won’t. Out of billions we found each other, but why? Why, when the toxic waters run deep and swift and you’re tearing out my heart again like the dentist pulling teeth without warning? Here’s what I know: I will leave your life and not look back, and both of us will soldier on. I’ll find the love I’m looking for, and eventually you won’t even get my name right in … Read the rest
What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
I’ve always been so proud of people who do for a living what they always wanted to do for their life.
I have an old friend named Matt who is a drummer, and when he graduated college with a music degree, he became a professional drummer and makes his living doing what he loves.
One guy I went to high school with is the bassist for Hoobastank, a girl who was in my choir changed her name and now she’s a world renowned opera singer.
Other people I went to school … Read the rest
