“Well, you’re not what I expected.”

“Bow to me!”

“Yeah, no, I don’t think I’m gonna do that.”

“You are a servant of God!”

“Yeah, no, I’m actually not.”

“You mock me?”

“Yeah. Are you the one in charge around here?”

“I rule the land and seas and sky.”

“Okay, well, you’re doing a really shit job of it. The air is polluted, the seas are filling with garbage, and the land is either flooding or on fire at any given time. Plus, we have millions of people fighting in wars over land… or God.”

“I need a fucking vacation.”… Read the rest

She called me and I didn’t answer. I didn’t answer the first time, or the third, or the tenth.

I didn’t want to hear from her, ever.

I hadn’t talked to my sister in years and was doing good work forgetting the sound of her voice.

She abandoned our family, thinking she didn’t need us. We weren’t good enough, or rich enough, or interesting enough for her.

I used to say she wouldn’t piss on me if I were on fire, and maybe that’s true, but finally I answer:

“WHAT?!”

“Please, I need you, I’m sorry.”

“Well, that’s too bad.”… Read the rest

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

Something like this.

I’m always putzing around in my leisure time. I’m on my laptop picking away at something or reading what someone else has written, I’m scribbling in a notebook, I’m reading on my Kindle, listening to an audio book, or holding a paper one in my hands, which is too infrequent these days.

But I enjoy putting words on screens and papers, I enjoy getting them out of my head and my hands and making them into something someone can use, even just me.

I want more than … Read the rest

“Did you bring it?”

“Wasn’t that the point of coming here?”

“Let’s see it.”

“This place is busy, you want me to take it out now?”

“Yes, yes!”

The man opened the kerchief in the palm of his hand and revealed the diamond, nearly the size of a golf ball, rare, clean, and uncut.

“Where’d you find it?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Good evening, gentlemen, can I get either of you something to drink?”

“Looks like you are pretty busy in here tonight, maybe we’ll just leave.”

“Yeah, it might be best to go somewhere more private to make this deal.”… Read the rest