We said it so many times we called it 10%, because it felt like “I love you” was 10% of all we say to each other. Every day, I love you, I love you, I love you, a balm I’ll never grow tired of but, underneath it all, became a noose around your neck. We’ll stick to easy games; no tag, no red rover, no hopscotch, nothing that involves touching or thinking about you. Finger painting, maybe, that’s an activity we can do together now that cuddling and sex are off the table. My best friend has a sex painting. … Read the rest
Posts tagged relationships
forget about it
Sunday morning. This was once my favorite time of week, the lazy Sunday morning that would unfold into whatever we desired. It was the magic morning, it was the morning I could almost count on rolling into your arms and then you rolling on top of me. But now? Forget about it.
I thought you were my kindred spirit. I thought you were my moon and stars. I
thought you meant it when you said you’d always love me and never leave me,
but that was so stupid of me to believe. I thought you were my skin twin, I … Read the rest
a lucky shot in the dark
i think of my life sometimes
in the context of Tswift lyrics:
“we never had a shotgun shot in the dark” to
“we are a shot in the darkest dark” to
“august sipped away like a bottle of wine –
’cause you were never mine”
yet, look – here you are next to me
on the couch having coffee every morning
here are your boxer briefs i wash and fold
with my heart full of love and feeling lucky
because i get to be the one to fold your underwear
how easy, how comfortable, how perfect it can be
the … Read the rest
our parents were lucky
Getting older, and watching my parents and grandparents age, is incredibly hard.
I’ve always been very aware of my age and the passing of time.
These days it feels like time is flying by so much faster than I want it to; I want it to slow down. I want to be able to appreciate and savor more of the good things before having to move on to the next.
Day after day, most things stay the same.
Wake up, work, dinner, whatever, sleep. Repeat four times until Saturday. Rest.
I worry every day about getting bills paid and not … Read the rest
nothing is forever, not even close
“All I’ve ever wanted is to be a writer” is a sentence I’m sure I and many other writers have uttered throughout life, and it’s true but also not true.
There was a time in childhood when I watched the movie SpaceCamp over and over and over again and then was taken to the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum in Washington, D.C. where I doubled down on my dream.
I took home posters of the Milky Way and a Space Shuttle pointing at the sky, its bottom engulfed in the flames from the rockets about to take them away.
I … Read the rest
The best thing I’ve ever found
WordPress asks today:
The most important invention in your lifetime is…
and a shrill voice in my mind screams:
“Modern indoor plumbing!”
but then I considered, well, that wasn’t invented in my lifetime.
I am lucky enough to have been able to enjoy cleaning my butt with toilet paper and flushing it away my whole life, so that doesn’t count.
Well, the next answer was obvious to me:
The Internet.
I have a horrible memory.
I don’t remember core moments of my life like a normal person does.
I don’t remember the first time I ever got my period, I … Read the rest
any day with you, babe
When I was younger, there is no doubt that my most ideal day, beginning to end, would be one spent in New York City.
I might even want to spend that day there alone, because I did that once, I went for three days and two nights alone, and it was the best trip to the city I can remember.
I took the train, a little over two hours from New Haven to Grand Central, and I sat writing in my journal and listening to music.
But the people around me didn’t know that part of that time I wasn’t … Read the rest
every day will eventually end
When I met Bobby I had been single for a long time.
I hadn’t gone on a date in about four years, and I had lost all confidence in myself, both emotionally and physically.
Every once in a while, usually when we’re fighting, he brings up the fact that when we met, I was doing intense EMDR therapy to, as he says, “get over” my ex.
It’s not getting over my exes that is the problem – they’re all gone for a reason.
Getting over the way things had ended was the issue.
I was stunned by it; it was … Read the rest
delay
It’s been nearly
five years
and I’ve grown
weary
waiting for you,
but you said
the end is near,
the delay
almost over,
so in a few days
I’ll be making room
on a particular finger.
I’ll be as ready
as I’ve been
for nearly five years.
There’s nothing I want
more than us.
Photo by JUDY ANN DAYOT on Unsplash