If I could do just one thing –
if someone asked me:
“What would you do
if you could do anything?”
I’d run.
I’d pack a light bag and run.
I would leave work one day
and I just wouldn’t go home.
Instead, I’d drive to an airport,
pick a place with palm trees and sun,
and I would run.
I would disappear, poof!
Like magic, she’s there one moment
and she’s gone the next.
I want to go
where no one will ever find me.
I want to run off into the sunset
and never be seen or heard … Read the rest
I didn’t want
to wake up today
It’s not that
I wanted to die, but
I just wish I could
skip this day
every year
I’ll fight every hour
many times over
to stop myself
from imagining
one of the worst
things imaginable
My grandfather
who I loved more
than I will love
any other man
in my whole life
Died alone
in a hospital
in 2020 when
no one was allowed
to be with him
How could
the greatest man
who ever lived
have such a sad
undignified death?
I hope he knew
how much I loved him
how … Read the rest
this morning
when I woke up alone again
for the sixth saturday in a row
I wanted so much
to reach out and call you
I felt the gaping
hole in my heart
that you used to fill
and it felt so hollow,
and cold, and broken
but I want
the man you used to be
or at least
the man I thought you used to be
before I found out how often and
how easily you lie
i wanted to
give you another chance
but then I remembered
you lie to me
you hurt me
and every time
you … Read the rest
This is not the club
I ever wanted to belong to.
I have nothing against
childless cat ladies; sometimes
I think they’re the lucky ones
if all they have to be
responsible for in life
is their feline friends.
I never wanted to be
in the single mom club
or the forever a fat girl club
or “the ones with serious daddy issues” club.
I didn’t sign up to be
stuck living this life
so afraid I’ll die
from the loneliness,
from the acute and
stinging lack of companionship.
Precious few humans
will be able to die saying
they got … Read the rest
I wore my black
black wrap dress
new bra and a lace thong
I had my hair washed,
smelled good, ready
for the main show
met you outside
couldn’t wait
the only place
we’ve ever met
is parking lots
and now
I have you on the couch
and take your hand,
it’s on my breast,
I lean in to kiss
in my head
i hear the bang and
see the flash of
fireworks, magic,
it’s magic when
you kiss someone you love
so I’ll sit on your lap
and kiss you ’til
we can’t breathe
and when I’m feeling wet… Read the rest
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