no matter what it looks like when things finally
get shook up and then settle down, I will be here by your side.
I will be the one who keeps loving you and loving you
and showing you love, and no one can possibly say we
deserve anything worse than this, or anything more than this.
there are plenty of people in this world I could have met and made a
makeshift life with, I would have laughed and smiled at their jokes
the way I smile at you and laugh at yours, you ridiculous little boy.
so no matter … Read the rest
Page 3 of 20
Two years ago, right around now, I was supposed to be going to Maine for a writer’s retreat led by my favorite living poet.
That didn’t end up happening because I didn’t find a job by then and I was rapidly running out of money. I had to take the refund when I had the chance and save all the money I would have spent on hotels and gas and food for the few days I would be there.
To say I was devastated would be putting it lightly, because this is also just after I would have been seeing … Read the rest
And when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it, freedom or loneliness?
― Charles Bukowski
I got a new therapist a few weeks ago. I think we just had our third session last night and I can already tell I am going to love working with her, because this is going to be actual work, not just a weekly scheduled bitchfest to a willing (and paid) ear.
She’s giving me skills, she’s giving me suggestions for homework, she’s giving me books to read, all of it. I am here for it.
One thing we talked about yesterday is how I just suddenly quit a few things that I’d loved doing and had been doing for … Read the rest
I just want everything in life to be going okay right now, and all the time, is really what I want.
I feel like lately things have been better in my relationship and at work, and I am enjoying having a new therapist and new goals. I’ve been walking, intentionally on a treadmill. I’ve been NOT eating too much. I’ve been eating grapes by the handful cause they are so fucking delicious.
I started writing something last night, a new fiction story that I haven’t ever tried before, this is the very beginning of it, and it makes me excited, … Read the rest
