not now, but soon,
I’m going to want to
go looking for my
next victim love

not yet, but soon
I’ll start caring
about how I look
again, even though
I don’t want it to matter

soon I’ll try on that
look of the confident
but available woman
the “I don’t need you, but
you’re gonna hope I want you,”
sort of look

and I’ll strut around
considering all of you
wondering specifically
how exactly will you hurt me?

what will you do that
will eventually break my heart?

one day, one day
maybe even soon,
I’ll be looking for men
through the veil of 
“he’s already done this to me
there’s no way I’ll let you do it, too”

and of course, I’ll
think to myself
it’s the nicest
and most gentle ones
the ones with deep
blue eyes and soft skin
who touch you so sweetly,
the ones you don’t expect
will be the ones who
end up hurting you the most

so keep your
guard up high, girl
you know you’re not
safe out there anymore
and I was stupid
for thinking that I
was ever immune
to the crushing pain
of knowing it’s over
before it ever really
got a chance to begin

we want love
we want the
comfortable companionship
the soft body to hold us
the hands that reach, wanting 

and we want it all 
all of it
not a fraction –

one hundred percent 

otherwise, you’re
just a threat
just another one
who comes and goes

you don’t even
realize how much
you’ve taken from me
and I don’t think
you ever will, but

this is fine,
just go

my heart has had
quite enough of all
the ways you can
hurt me, thanks
we don’t need to try
to find any more

Inspired by the Writer’s Write October prompts | Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels