Category: Poems (Page 2 of 3)

When you wake up
in the morning, do you
jump right out of bed
now that you don’t
feel obligated to stay
a few minutes
just to hold me?

When you hop
down the stairs
and get your first
hot little cup of coffee,
are you still humming and
singing your morning song?

Do you keep yourself busy,
are you still always pacing
around in circles, especially
now that you’re in a home
you can walk circles around?

Have you spent much
time at home
since you left here?

Do you sleep under
your old roof with your
old wife and young girls
who never made you feel
as loved as I did?

Have you literally
already bled for them,
down on your hands and knees
hammering together
whatever parts
you can salvage
so you can say 
this is worth it

?

Do you wish you
had been better to me
so that I could have
given us the chance
I thought we both deserved?

Do you wish you
had put more faith in me,
that if you just told the truth
about the things that really mattered
we might have had a chance?

What do you regret the most?
Posting that photo on Twitter?
Answering me when I messaged you?
That first time you told me you loved me?
That first time we met and held hands and kissed?
That first time we laid down together and made love?

Or is it simply that being with me
meant you couldn’t be with them –
and that was too much
for you to sacrifice?

If I never hear from you again
I’ll certainly believe the latter,
but no matter when
it won’t matter.

I wonder what
our life could have
looked like if we
had been smarter,
but then, if we were smarter,
we wouldn’t be here
would we?

My heart is broken
and I will be filled
with guilt and regret
for as long as I live.

You shattered me.

But I robbed you
of your entire life.

I need you to forgive me
but I don’t think I can be forgiven.

---

Inspired by the Writer’s Write October prompts | Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels

we didn’t plan on 
constant conversation
that never came 
to an end 

until now

and I don’t
know about you

but I planned
on loving you
for the rest
of our lives 

too bad i
didn’t look
far enough ahead
to see that even if
we tore down
the fences

the walls
will remain
too long
for us
to have forever

this isn’t
what I expected
for us
and I must
apologize if you
feel I ever tried
to lead you astray

I swear I would
have loved you
until your last day

---

Inspired by the Writer’s Write October prompts | Photo by Susanne Jutzeler.

I gave you all of myself.

I gave every bit of the love I had
living within my beating heart
that once I swore would only
beat for you, and forever.

I gave you my best.
I gave you my energy when I had none,
I gave you my compassion when you hurt me,
I gave you undivided attention and never once
looked at another man and thought:
“He might be a better choice…”

I loved you even though
sometimes I hated you and sometimes
I felt like you hated me and what I’d done to you.

I tried as hard as I could.
I feel like I did the best I could.
I gave you and the future I wanted with you
every bit of my patience I could summon so
if you were ever ready, we’d still have a chance.

But you lied and you lied and you lied and you lied.

You lied to my mother today
when she asked you to leave me alone.

You can’t even tell the truth
when it doesn’t really matter;
lying seems to be instictual for you.

How could I decide to live with that?

I can’t.

I didn’t.

I won’t.

You only gave me half of a relationship
so it stands to reason you would have
only given me half a life.

I get the leftovers, but only if and
when you think your first, and
therefore more important family,
is assuredly taken care of forever.

You would give me half a life.

You would give me half of your love,
half of your attention and consideration.

I would have to bite my tongue and
steel my heart to pretend to appreciate it
when I only get half of our holidays together,
when I only get a fraction of your time.

You would only give me the half of yourself
that you think your real family doesn’t need.

And people have been telling me that
from the first time I told them about you.

He’s never going to give you what you want.
He’s never going to make you feel safe and secure.
He’s never going to let go of her enough to be able
to make you feel like you come first and are the most
important woman in his life.

He’s never made you feel that way.
Why should you ever believe he will now?

You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.

You made me feel like I wasn’t worth all the things
you lost or gave up to be able to have me.

You made me feel like you wished
you’d never even met me, and
you made me feel like
nothing would ever get better.

So, I made a decision without you
and now you know how that feels.

I decided not to take this anymore.

I decided that I am done.

I have known for a long time
that I deserve more, and better
than you’ve ever been willing to give me.

You gave me half a relationship.

I gave me half of your love.

You would have given me half a life.

But I want someone who’ll give me their all
just because they want to.

---

Inspired by the Writer’s Write October prompts | Photo by J H on Pexels.